Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
