so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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