I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
