He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My vagina just clenched in fear
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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