I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
