Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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