Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
His hands were made for my vagina.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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