ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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