i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You're like the curious george of whores
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize