On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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