I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
