dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
