It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
