i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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