I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
