Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
