I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
