I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize