is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
