Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize