Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
