i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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