Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
