I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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