he wants to bone in the snuggie
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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