so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
