if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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