It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
