I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
