Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
