Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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