he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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