wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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