he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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