Do you still have your period?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
