I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
