My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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