i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
