He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I am midnight drunk by noon
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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