you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
