Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
