I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
