In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
