he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
