why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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