I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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