Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
