he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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