That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
