Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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