and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
