the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
