I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
