y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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