I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
