she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
