My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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