I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
