I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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