i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
