Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
