I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
