Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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