dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
